The Pilgrim Endurance Process: Developing Your “Why”
“The Braford-Lefebvre family chose to live here in order to raise their family wild. Through hard times and the best ones, running is their tool for experiencing life together.”
-Patagonia
My dad and step-mom still tell the stories about me from when I was young. While Kay would make dinner, I would rifle through the “gadget drawer,” pulling out whatever looked interesting and asking, “What does this do?” Kay would tell me, and I would go test it out. From those days, through graduate school classrooms, I became known for my questions. What I know now, is that I love to learn through asking questions and applying those answers.
Despite the outward appearance, working as a hospital chaplain for the past three years was a constant dialogue of question and response. When I interviewed for chaplain residencies, it struck me that I would have to leave the seminary, where I found myself alive in the classroom. I had found a beautiful rhythm in reading, writing, and engaging in the classroom, and I felt afraid of losing that. Now, as I look back, I realize I never stopped what I love. The pattern of chaplaincy to my eyes is a pattern of question and response. It also includes every imaginable variation of that pattern, and plenty of listening and silence. I work to learn the person in front of me, and to respond as well as I can. Despite the diagnosis or religion in their chart, there are no two alike, and I have to learn each person each time I meet them.
I love this pattern, and I bring that to my coaching. When I ask my pilgrim athletes why they run, it often brings up meaning and purpose in life. It often brings up the balance of their day and the hope for transformation. I serve men who run for play, because it makes them a better husband and father, to find retreat, and for many other reasons.
In their book Happy Runner, Megan and David Roche share their criteria for their runners’ “why?” They start with the reality that each of us dies, so why run? They say, “We ask that their answers meet three criteria: they are internal, positive, and enduring.” They explain, “...that can mean you run for moments of effortless transcendence that comes from time on the trails, that you find daily purpose from having a race on the calendar, or that running makes you a better, more patient person.” What doesn’t work for them? “...When the “Why?” is temporary, grounded in negative emotions, or based on comparison.”
As for me today, you ask, what is my “Why?” I like who I am as I train. I like to have something embodied to commit to. I like how it strengthens my self-esteem. I love being outside on a trail, especially for more than an hour. I like to share the journey with people from time to time. I like to feel fast and strong and that it gives me time and space to process. I like that it regularly prompts reflection in me. I run because I recognize I’m a better person when I have a daily devotion, and this one has so many upsides in the process. I like the outcomes too, but I often cannot control those, so I try to focus on the process, even and especially during races or goal events.
For more information on how to develop your “why,” check out David and Megan Roche’s book, Happy Runner.
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What is your “Why?” and how is it internal, positive, and enduring?
